The secret is out. The old man is an immortal.

Following the Tan Yong Soon farcical, the government surprised me by actually making a response to it. For those who did not follow the story, Tan Yong Soon is the permanent secretary of the Ministry of Environment & Water Resources. There is a big hoo-hah (I am not sure how big it is outside the socio-political blogs though) over him spending close to S$ 50k for him, his senior investment counsellor wife and his Brown University going son, the three of them, went to France to learn cooking French cuisine. 

Well, there wasn't much I thought of it although it is wierd that a senior civil servant actually posted a personal article on the Straits Times talking about his trip. There are lots of rich people out there in Singapore, and everyone knows that senior civil servants are well paid. They should spend the money as they deem fit. If a civil servant can discharge his duties responsibiliy, I don't care if he or she blows all his/her money on buying Toto or going Batam. Buy all the chicken wings in Singapore for all I care. Do invite me though. 

Whether Tan Yong Soon is a good civil servant is a story for another day. But he was quoted as saying: "Taking five weeks leave from work is not as difficult as one thinks. Most times when you are at the top, you think you are indispensable. But if you are a good leader who has built up a good team, it is possible." This guy should learn some humility first. But its not a big deal since its hard to judge a character from what is written on Shitty Times. 

Incur my wrath comes Charles Chong. 

From Today article, 

Agreeing that the rebuke in Parliament was “harsh”, MP Charles Chong noted that in the article, Mr Tan did not “brag” about how expensive the trip was. “Maybe it made lesser mortals envious and they thought maybe he was a little bit boastful,” he said. “Would people have taken offence if his wife (a senior investment counsellor at a bank) had paid for everything?”

There you have it. The truth is out. We are lesser mortals governed by greater mortals and immortals. There are also probably some shinigami out there capturing souls of the not-so-powerful mortals (You must eat more chicken to have a more powerful soul, bbqchickenwings says). Now you know why our government imperial court is so unreceptive and out of touch and seems to be living in their own world, because they ARE. One day in heaven = Ten years in the human world. By the time they do anything of note, months would have passed even if they are very efficient. 

 Charles Chong, the Greater Mortal

 The Immortal aka GodLee

And anyone wonders why the old man is not dead yet? He has managed to do what 秦始皇, the first Emperor of China, has failed. Emperor Qin desperately sought for the immortal elixir in his bid to live happily ever after. He made the Terra Cotta army so that the soldiers who cannot consume this elixir to accompany him forever. Some smart ass then decided to give Emperor Qin mercury pills, masked as the elixirs, to consume. And hence we said bye bye to the Emperor. 

Now in Singapore, having invested lots of money into biomedical research, we have found immortality. This was supposed to be a highly guarded secret (shhhh) as the pills and manufacture methods are still patent pending. But our dear Charles spilled the pills (pun not intended). In fact, there are pills of different grades. Only the super expensive ones can grant you immortality and they are available only for every PM who's surname is Lee. Only two such pills have been succesfully manufactured so far. Fret not, there are other pills though which are easier to manufacture. They cost peanuts and allow you to become a Greater Mortal. Or you can continue overeating chicken wings costing $1 per piece like bbqchickenwings, start thinking that you are a chicken wing and remain as a lesser mortal. 

To read more about the Singapore mortal caste system, see here. Courtesy of Wayang Party Club. I just love their picture of the Eight Immortals.